Seeking Refuge Through Counseling

Saving Your Marriage: 3 Ways To Move On From Infidelity In A Marriage

Infidelity is a common obstacle that married couples have to face. In fact, approximately 25 to 50% of divorcees cite a spouse's infidelity as the primary cause of their divorce in western countries. Most couples cannot move on from extra-marital affairs, and the marriage typically ends in divorce. However, for those who would still like to reconcile and reignite former passions within the marriage, marriage counseling is almost always a must. Most counselors recommend these 3 ways to move on from infidelity in a marriage.

Visualize and Redefine a Future Together

Marriages work because both partners want it to work. During marriage counseling, both partners must determine whether they are willing to make it work and build a future together. Both partners also need to be on the same page on what their future will look like. It's important to take some time to visualize and redefine the type of future that you would like to have with your partner. After an extra-marital affair has taken place, some factors that you or your partner may have wanted in the past may change.

Develop A Deeper Emotional Intimacy

After a partner has come out as unfaithful, a huge emotional strain is placed on the relationship. Most marriage counselors will first work on developing a deeper emotional intimacy between both couples. Learning how to become emotionally intimate or opening yourself once more to your partner can be difficult after an extra-marital affair has taken place. Most counselors recommend that couples spend more time together doing activities and also spend time talking. It's important to learn how to become vulnerable to your partner once again, and to have new experiences.

Address the Underlying Issue

To recover from an infidelity, it is crucial for both partners to communicate and connect with one another. In particular, it's important to address the underlying issue that led to the affair. When emotions dial down and become more manageable, couples should begin to talk about these issues and learn how to not only address, but also tackle them together in the future. Addressing these issues will deal with the root of any discontent that was residing within the relationship. For example, a partner may have been unfaithful because they did not feel understood in the relationship.


Marriage counseling can help you and your partner better understand what it is that both of you want from the marriage and rebuild and redefine a future together. It can also help couples determine whether staying together is really a viable option.